A year ago my our second baby Lyon was born. I still have not written his birth story for my records. I am finally willing myself to write it now.
My whole Pregnancy I was training myself for a hypnobirth. Many people i knew had wonderful births this way. I read, took a class with Rob and listened to the cd's every night while in my sleep. i think the CD part was key in preparing my body. I was pretty positive, but after the incredible birth of Syd I was skeptical that I could have a pain free birth like many do with hypnobirthing. One part in the class we did an exercise where you state how long you want the birth to be. I said 3hrs thinking that would be amazing but did not really believe it was possible for me.
I went into labor three days late. I was still not really ready because i thought i had more time
( Syd was 2 weeks late). The day before I was feeling pretty rotten at a bike race we went to for Syd and a few days before that Syd had knocked his three front teeth almost out in a bike crash. Traumatic for us all. An oral surgeon wanted to take them out, but I had a strong feeling we should not, I went into labor the day the surgery was scheduled.
The day I went into labor rob had a dentist appointment before work. He was riding his bike in as usual. I was having a sleep in while Grandma played with Syd, I got out of bed at about 9am and as I stood up my water broke. ( thankfully on the wood floor) I was a little shocked and excited - wow, i am really going to have my baby today. I felt pretty good but stayed upstairs so I could get some things done without Syd seeing me and wanting my attention. I needed to wash my hair, pack for the hospital and clean a bit! I called rob to let him know but told him to continue with the appointment because i thought i had a while. He decided not to and turned around and came straight back home. At about 10am I started having contractions and I consider that the start of my labor. I did all the things I wanted to and then I decided to just lay down and do my hypnobreathing which was working incredibly. The pain really dissipated into nothing when I breathed into stomach blowing it up like a balloon. I was not in too much discomfort, however contractions were 2 minutes a part and in between each contraction I needed to sit on the toilet. My body was getting rid of everything i guess, but it was hard to keep relaxed with all the up and down and this going on. When rob got home he was watching me breath through a contraction and said " dude, are you pushing?" I had not really realized it, but my breathing had changed to the "birth Breathing" they talk about. I still felt pretty good, but rob decided we just needed to get to the hospital. I called on the way and told them I was in the pushing phase and wanted the birthing tub filled because I really wanted to try a water birth.
But the ride to the hospital was the end of my relaxation. It was fifteen minutes and I just lost it. I could not get in the right position and I remember having to stop by the car and various other places while walking into the hospital and squat down and breath/push through the contractions. it was very primal and not a pretty sight i am guessing. When we got there the nurse was just fluffing around and small talking and we said I am in the pushing phase can we rush this along...she was still cruising. As soon as she saw me during a contraction she was like ohh ohhh. ok. They had not filled the tub and between the the checking and monitoring they were doing I had become really uncomfortable and not in the zone at all. Looking back i should have gone to the hospital earlier because then I could have been able to get in a relaxed state and had all that needed to be done earlier while i was not in so much pain. I was afraid to go in too early this time. I had labored at home with syd for 10 hours of pretty bad pain and contractions and two minutes apart for about 8 hours and was 3 centimeters dilate when i came in. This time I was an 8. I had so much relief and excitement in hearing that news. I got in the tub and just held rob around the neck. As with the first time he was an incredible partner and said and did all the right things. I love this man and love having his babies. Both times it has been a wonderful bonding experience for us. I got to a point in the tub where the pain was as bad as with Syd. Crazy pain in my back, rocks scraping down my spine. I started to vomit uncontrollably then the midwife said that the vomiting had naturally pushed the baby down and she could feel the head and I was almost there. I could not believe it. Rob thought she was just saying that to encourage us but did not believe it to be true. Then I started feeling helpless, i remember saying "why does this have to be so hard", I felt like giving up, but it was not quite the same hopelessness I felt with Syd because I knew I had done it before, i knew what it felt like to birth and then i remembered from my hypnobirthing class that when you get to this point your baby is moments away. I pushed and breathed and soon I could feel the head, I was still hanging on to rob, then the midwife asked me to turn around so she could see better and she asked me to slow down, and I pushed a few times gently and I birthed my baby without tearing. He was born in the water and on my chest in moments. The first thing i noticed were his strong chubby arms and back covered in what seemed to me to be quite long blonde hair. maybe corny, but my heart said to me, this is my Lyon. I could barely believe how fast everything went. from the time I got to the hospital He was born within 45 minutes. at 1:07pm i think. he was 8pounds 1 ounce. I felt so good, energized, in awe, in love. 3 hours of work total, compared to about 30hrs with Syd. Lyon's birth was healing for me. Instead of feeling like i had been hit by a truck i felt powerful. I had both the boys in the same room which was a little eerie for me when i walked in for the second time with memories coming flooding back.
I could not have asked for a better birth. Sure it was not pain free, but there was about an hour of bad pain, i will take that any day. Looking back I am still happy for the experience of Syd's birth and it sounds strange but given the choice I would not have changed it for the easier birth of Lyon, though one of those experiences is enough for me. There was something heavenly and magical about it. The greatest struggle brings the greatest joy was true in this case. Both rob and I agreed there was just a different feeling with our first, like the heavens opened to help me with Syd.
Lyon's birth was full of elation and love, in comparison so easy, calm, and drama free. I was feeling physically incredibly after lyon's birth that I was talking to the midwife about going straight home. I wanted to be home with family, especially Syd. I got up to take a shower and felt really faint. I passed huge blood clots and fainted almost at the shower. I woke up with the nurse at my side giving me salts to smell and stabbing me with some pitocin to get the uterus contracting.
I felt sick and terrible. the midwife said the uterus was not able to clamp down because of the blood clots in the way. She had to go in and manually remove/scrape out all the clots. This physically Shattered me. It was intensely painful, the worst. just when I thought the hard part was all over. by the time it was done, i went from feeling so good to feeling like a truck had run over me......again. bummer. It took me a few weeks... maybe a month to start feeling ok again after the blood loss.
There was a heavenly feeling in the hospital that night when we had our loved ones visit. Grandma had been with us helping incredibly with Syd for a while. Torah happened to be in manchester VT that day and drove 3hrs with her team manager to come see us, we were so happy she was there again the day our son was born. Our great friend's the orber's came before they moved to NH. Lyon gave syd a bulldozer and he was pretty happy with his brother. very affectionate.
That night in the hospital I did not get a wink of sleep, i think because of the adrenaline and listening and worrying for the new born. I am always like that in the beginning. Syd and rob could have slept with me, but they decided to go home so they would both get better sleep. Syd had a bit of a hard time without me. He kept saying he really missed Rowe. He never calls me that! it made me sad thinking that he thought i was not his mum anymore. Syd was 2 yrs and 8 months and still breastfeeding at the time. We were having big preparations and talks and he had decided he was going to stop when the new baby came. I was happy about that because though people do breastfeed two i did not want this. I had many friends tell me he would not be into it once the new baby came. He was good to his word for about three days. Then he started waking up in the night crying for milkies ... that was the end! we had a no more milkies party with cake and songs written by dad and he did not like it for a while, but got over it pretty quick but still says sometimes that he really misses milkies!!
We had trouble over Lyon's name. I had only heard the name a few times and was reminded of it in Hawaii while i was pregnant. I loved it. I had some pretty strong impressions that this was to be his name. One time I was thinking of his name on the way to a midwife appointment and the song "little Lion man" came on the radio. bam. got very emotional, felt like it was it. Rob was not as happy with the name. I told him to come up with one he loved then. Because I loved it, but so far there was no name he loved. five days after his birth rob called me and told me he had decided what his name would be. Lyon Benjamin. Rob said Lyon was a good name and he would get used to it. we both loved benjamin, my brother's name and thought it was a good name to use should lyon grow up one day and hate his name!
I get strange looks some times when I say his name and many times people love it. more than i had expected. I have no regrets.
I have loved remembering the day of his birth as I type next to lyon sleeping now......the eve of his first birthday. I am grateful, and have no words to say how much, for my healthy, happy baby Lyon.
